Grandmother

Christine Wong 1914 ~ 2009

My grandmother passed away last month.  It’s taken me a while to untangle all of my feelings.  I don’t know if there are words to explain how much she meant to me and to my family.  To me she represented the woman that I hoped to become – strong, diligent, wise, patient, dedicated.  She was my role model, a monolithic person that I hoped to emulate, but whose heights I only hoped to reach.  

She fought against societies perceptions of what a girl should be and pushed her way into university, the only woman to study biology.  One of her biggest regrets was that she never became a doctor like her classmates, when the war broke out and marriage and children prevented her from going down that path.  Instead, she was a mother to 5 children.  Along the way she became an incredible artist, studying under renowned masters.  A shrewd investor, she amassed her own fortune through diligence and hard work, all from her own home.  I remember her getting up early every morning and looking through the financial section of the newspaper, carefully tracking and recording that days up and downs in the stock market.  

One of her mantras was, “Learn to do it yourself.  Don’t ever rely on anyone else to do anything for you.”  She was also the brains behind my grandfathers success, helping him to build his business during their life together.

 I can’t imagine growing up without my grandmother.  She was the matriarch who guided all of us.  I remember lying on my grandmothers bed as a child, listening to her and my mother talk.  The amazing life stories, the lessons, I absorbed it all.  Her life had not been easy, filled with painful stories of loss, heartbreak, war, a controlled life under the eyes of her mother in law and betrayal.  But through it all she stayed strong, and forged a path with dignity and determination.  One such lesson learned through observation: through her whole life, except for the last few bedridden years, she was always perfectly made up.  Whether or not she was going out for the day, she would have perfectly done hair, makeup and nail polish.  She said that this was because she was old and that she didn’t want to “scare” anyone.  But what it taught me was that we must take pride in ourselves and always put our best selves forward.  Live our best lives for ourselves, and not for others.

Now I feel a desire to honor her memory and her life by living my best life.  To remember what I most admire about her, what I aspire to, and to actually live it.  To be fearless, adventurous, to always put my best self out there and remember the great women that came before me and made me who I am.  I like to think that I am living and loving life to my best ability. Sometimes I think that if she had been born in my time, without all the restrictions, she would have been one of the best and brightest at whatever she chose to do.  So now it’s time to really use each day, each opportunity wisely.  To use the opportunities that she paved the way for me to have.  I am just so thankful that she was my grandmother, and that I have all of my memories of her, all of her wisdom to learn from and her legacy to carry on.  I just hope that I make her proud.