"It was impossible under the circumstances to preserve my appearance of abstraction and,
blushing furiously, I said that it didn't matter at all."

maine

i just got back from a week in maine, spending time with my parents
we flew in from opposite ends of the country and met up at the airport
then we drove up to picture perfect camden....
green, gold, scarlet leaves
rocky coastlines
rolling green hills
lobster, lobster, lobster!
amazingly fresh oysters, haddock, lobster rolls, clam chowder...of which i probably ate a little too much...or i guess i never can get enough clam chowder...
little towns
lots of rain
cosy cottage
cheery belated birthday celebration (where an opera singer sang to me!)
lovely maine...it was all so impossibly beautiful and quaint, i couldn't believe it was real
i didn't want to leave...

summer

the days are getting shorter, the nights feel a little bit crisper and i've had to turn on the heat the past few nights.  the last lingering traces of summer will soon fade into autumn and once again the leaves will burst into a million shades of gold and firey red.

then, suddenly one day the leaves drop to the floor and the winter slumber begins

it's so different living with seasons...there's an urgency, a need to enjoy every season while it's here. 

time seems to  rush by, unlike the lazy hazy californian summer that never ends

i am looking forward to wearing boots and sweaters again. and hot chocolate next to a crackling fire. and crystal covered lakes. but until then, i'm going to cling onto the last bits of summer and sun and warmth and store up every last bit. 

patagonian dreams

Last winter, we fulfilled a long standing desire to visit Patagonia, Argentina. Land of vast, never ending landscapes. The edge of the earth.  It was exactly how I imagined, and more.  This little adventure ended up changing our lives, in a wonderful way.

After a few befe de lomo filled days in Buenos Aires, we flew to Bariloche.  And that's where our Patagonian adventure began...

click on photo to go to photo album

Patagonia, Argentina. There was white water rafting, rock-climbing, glacier trekking, horse back riding, exploring, hiking...oh yes and shopping...and eating...lots of eating. 

vast open spaces...and cozy nights with hot chocolate...

more pictures to come...

el chaltan, patagonia
This is what you shall do: love the earth and sun and the animals, 

despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, 

devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning god, 

have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known 

or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons 

and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open

 air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at 

school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very 

flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but 

in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in 

every motion and joint of your body...

~ Walt Whitman

bloom

late summer blooms from our garden

i must admit that i was more than a little apprehensive, more than a little worried about

the to move to the suburbs

it can feel a little isolating...like i'm the only person alive out here*, surrounded only by

empty houses and dark streets

and then my neurotic side starts to kick in and then the hyperventilating begins!

but then i realized that i can make my world the way i wish it to be...i just need to reach out, instead of waiting for what i want to come to me. after all, there must be other people that come back to all those empty houses right?

ok now, deep breaths

in.....

out.....

in....

out....

everything will be ok!

and then i think some more, and i really can't believe how lucky i am to live in such an incredibly beautiful place. i must send out my "thanks" to the cosmos

what did i ever do to be so lucky?

lush green trees, winding wooded trails, open grassy knolls, acres of gardens, miles of paths, glassy lakes, quiet, calm...just what the soul needs (my philosophical side, of course)

i've decided that i need to bloom where i am planted

it's the only thing to do really (my practical side kicks in now)

this means 8 am yoga and meditation everyday..right? riiiigggght...

that being said, flushing queens is only a 25 minute drive away...i will be back soon for my dimsum, laksa, rendang, etc etc...you can't take this girl too far** from her food!

*i am mostly afraid of being all alone... que small sad violins

**that's why we stayed on the east side...close to all my beloved food - can't live without it!

before/after

A few weeks ago we moved in our new house.

And after all the cleaning, unpacking and putting things away,

we decided that we just couldn't live without a chalk wall.

So after buying the paint, taping, painting on two coats of paint...

A lot of hard work I'm telling you. Phew, I'm sooo tired already...

I think I better lay down for a nice siesta..

Umm...

Ok, so maybe none of the work was done by me...

but I did come up with the idea - that has to count for something!

Viola! - A brand new chalk wall just waiting to be scribbled all over!

Happiness lately

Here's to things that make me HAPPY lately:

1. Video by Dirty Projectors for their song "Stillness is the Move". Saw them at dark was the night and was intrigued by their innovative sounds and big voices.

2. Went to the Daily Show with Jon Stewart yesterday with a friend. The greatness of Jon Stewart lies not only in his humor and on point commentary, but in his humility and kindness. Loved it.

3. Sushi of Gari - perfection.

4. {Horton Hears a Who} - this made me cry like a baby last night - tears of joy that is. So many little lessons packed into one animated movie. And if you know me, you know I just love life lessons packed into animated movies. Sigh...this made me so happy. If you want to learn about the heart and what makes it tick... 

*spoiler* I wanted to kill that kangaroo, but then Horton offers forgiveness and friendship, and I *sob* *tear* realized that's what true love is...right?? Watch this and it will lift your spirits.

5. Making music...

6. {Surprises}: especially super special surprises. Saturday morning doorbell rings and 2 tickets arrive for No Doubt at Jones beach! And of course is was one of the best nights of my life. Seriously. So happy. "I'm just a giiirrrllll in the world, that's all that you'll let meee beeeeee....."

7. A few patches of sunshine through the rainy days

8. Pale pink/lavender chrysanthemums (also a surprise delivery)

9. knowing that the puppy will soon be neutered. I would do it myself if I could. Get out the old chopping block and knife. All it would take is a couple of snip snip snips really, or one easy ~slice~....

10. Upcoming 4th of July weekend! Going out to the countryside...

Hope all of you have lots of happy little things to enjoy as well...

Grandmother

Christine Wong 1914 ~ 2009

My grandmother passed away last month.  It’s taken me a while to untangle all of my feelings.  I don’t know if there are words to explain how much she meant to me and to my family.  To me she represented the woman that I hoped to become – strong, diligent, wise, patient, dedicated.  She was my role model, a monolithic person that I hoped to emulate, but whose heights I only hoped to reach.  

She fought against societies perceptions of what a girl should be and pushed her way into university, the only woman to study biology.  One of her biggest regrets was that she never became a doctor like her classmates, when the war broke out and marriage and children prevented her from going down that path.  Instead, she was a mother to 5 children.  Along the way she became an incredible artist, studying under renowned masters.  A shrewd investor, she amassed her own fortune through diligence and hard work, all from her own home.  I remember her getting up early every morning and looking through the financial section of the newspaper, carefully tracking and recording that days up and downs in the stock market.  

One of her mantras was, “Learn to do it yourself.  Don’t ever rely on anyone else to do anything for you.”  She was also the brains behind my grandfathers success, helping him to build his business during their life together.

 I can’t imagine growing up without my grandmother.  She was the matriarch who guided all of us.  I remember lying on my grandmothers bed as a child, listening to her and my mother talk.  The amazing life stories, the lessons, I absorbed it all.  Her life had not been easy, filled with painful stories of loss, heartbreak, war, a controlled life under the eyes of her mother in law and betrayal.  But through it all she stayed strong, and forged a path with dignity and determination.  One such lesson learned through observation: through her whole life, except for the last few bedridden years, she was always perfectly made up.  Whether or not she was going out for the day, she would have perfectly done hair, makeup and nail polish.  She said that this was because she was old and that she didn’t want to “scare” anyone.  But what it taught me was that we must take pride in ourselves and always put our best selves forward.  Live our best lives for ourselves, and not for others.

Now I feel a desire to honor her memory and her life by living my best life.  To remember what I most admire about her, what I aspire to, and to actually live it.  To be fearless, adventurous, to always put my best self out there and remember the great women that came before me and made me who I am.  I like to think that I am living and loving life to my best ability. Sometimes I think that if she had been born in my time, without all the restrictions, she would have been one of the best and brightest at whatever she chose to do.  So now it’s time to really use each day, each opportunity wisely.  To use the opportunities that she paved the way for me to have.  I am just so thankful that she was my grandmother, and that I have all of my memories of her, all of her wisdom to learn from and her legacy to carry on.  I just hope that I make her proud.

ok, i love this too

what is it about scruffy boys / snoring pugs that's so adorable?

hmm....

dance like no one is watching

omgoodness, i love people!!!

Dark was the night @ radio city

One of the best things about living in NYC is easy access to live music. Everyone comes through new york. And one of the best things about E's job is easy access to tickets. We can get in everywhere :) 

Last night we went to dark was the night at radio city music hall. 

Performers included the dirty projectors, my brightest diamond, feist, the nationals, david byrne, bon iver, sharon jones and the dap kings. I was really disappointed that grizzly bear didn't show up, because they were one of the main reasons I wanted to go...

my brightest diamond

feist

photos by natasha ryan via brooklyn vegan

I didn't know this before last night, but Dark was the night is a compilation that benefits the Red Hot Organization, a organization that raises money and awareness for HIV and AIDS. Another bonus to going.

Even though I didn't know the music of some of the performers, I was blown away. Feist was amazing live. Her recordings don't at all capture the silky smokey melancholy of her voice the same way it sounds live. Bon iver was unbelievable too.

I was sitting there, and for a while listening to the music I felt like I was floating away, lost in the indefinable magic of the moment. The whole audience dissolves and you are collectively carried to a distant shore, captured only through melody.   

Bon Iver

It's just so wrong that there's no mainstream outlet for truly innovative music like this. Seems like the only way that great artists get exposed to the masses is as the background track of a tv commercial. And of course there is the internet. But it's so easy to get lost in the vast ocean of noise online. When is this going to change?

revelations by yoko ono

I love yoko ono. Her poetry, words, art and music inspire me. The way she views the world, looks beyond what can be seen. The way she challenges the status quo and what is considered the norm. Her message of peace and love.

The poem below is from her website 100 acorns.

Revelations

Bless you for your anger.

For it is a sign of rising energy.

Direct not to your family, waste not on your enemy.

Transform the energy to versatility

And it will bring you prosperity.

Bless you for your sorrow

For it is a sign of vulnerability.

Share not with your family, direct not to yourself.

Transform the energy to sympathy

And it will bring you love.

Bless you for your greed

For it is a sign of great capacity.

Direct not to your family. Direct not to the world.

Transform the energy to giving.

Give as much as you wish to take,

And you will receive satisfaction.

Bless you for your jealousy

For it is a sign of empathy

Direct not to your family, direct not to your friends.

Transform the energy to admiration

And what you admire

Will become part of your life

Bless you for your fear

For it is a sign of wisdom.

Do not hold yourself in fear.

Transform the energy to flexibility

And you will be free

From what you fear.

Bless you for your search of direction

For it is a sign of aspiration.

Transform the energy to receptivity

And the direction will come to you.

Bless you for the times you see evil.

Evil is energy mishandled and it feeds on your support.

Feed not and it will self-destruct.

Shed light and it will cease to be.

Bless you for the times you feel no love.

Open your heart to life anyway

and in time you will find

love in you.

Bless you, bless you, bless you.

Bless you for what you are.

You are a sea of goodness, a sea of love.

Count your blessings every day for they are your protection

Which stands between you and what you wish not.

Count your curses and they will be a wall

Which stands between you and what you wish.

The world has all that you need

And you have the power

to attract what you wish.

Wish for health, wish for joy.

Remember you are loved.

ashes and snow

"Transcendental" and "otherworldly" are some words that describe the photos and film captured by Gregory Colbert. I feel like I'm looking at heaven on earth in these videos. Breathtaking...

After you take a look at the videos, make sure to visit ashes and snow, Colberts website, where you can explore and click on some of the most beautiful photos you will ever see.

home

there's no place like home!

at least to me...

there's nothing that i like more than staying in, reading a great book, eating some chips, cuddling under the covers and watching a good movie on tivo, playing with the pup, looking through old photos, listening to music, talking to someone i love, daydreaming...

i remember the days when all i wanted was an exciting night out on the town. maybe because growing up you're not allowed out late by yourself, and what we are not allowed to do suddenly seems like THE thing that we want to do the most

but once you have the most desired thing, you realise after a while...it's not so great after all. what's better is the warmth of home, a delicious meal, great friends and family...the simple things in life are the best after all

puppy love

puppy, oh puppy, how do i love thee

let me count the ways

~ i love the way you stare at me perplexed, head bobbling back and forth, when i sing at the top of my lungs

~ i love it when you run around and dance along with me all over the house

~ i love fluffing your velvety soft furry coat and scrunching your face 

~ i love it when you optimistically pop up with the ball in your mouth hoping that someone will play with you

~ i love it when you try to jump on the bed, miss, and tumble over backwards like a fluffy brown clown

~ i especially love it when you are curled up in a ball beneath my feet, asleep, the naughty little monster turned angel, quietly frolicking in dreamland

i can't believe that i love this nasty little beastie

obsession

sometimes when i hear a song

 it creates a strange thirst in me that can't be filled 

until i've listened to the song 

1000 times 

(or more)

that's what happened in this case

looove it

still thirsty...for phoenix

greetings

hello

welcome to the beginning...